How Halfway Jumper or 半跳 Learned the Secret Name

As a callow youth, Halfway Jumper, or 半跳, attended a most prestigious institution, Amherst College, where he studied Indian philosophy with a yellow-haired, one-eyed, bellowing giant called “Buddha Bob,” who taught him how to speak and write the ancient name of Guanyin (觀音) in Sanskrit thus:  अवलोकितेश्वर or Avalokiteśvara.

One lovely spring afternoon, after practicing samadhi (समाधि) in the garden, Buddha Bob turned his attention to the class and asked whether there were any questions.  Foolish Halfway Jumper, or 半跳, spoke thusly:

“Wise Teacher, your mastery of metaphysics, epistemology, philology and logic are truly compelling, and yet, your holy vajra path seems to require a leap of faith in the existence of fantastical beings who appear to my habituated Western eye as demons and monsters.  How can I be an authentic student if I cannot accept the impossible?”

Buddha Bob’s eye’s rolled so hard that his glass eye spun around in the back of his head!  Faster it and faster it spun!  Until, emitting sparks, there was a blinding flash in which Buddha Bob’s visage briefly appeared as H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III, and this is what he said: